Please come along. I've got my own domain now. Feel free to send congratulations and flowers.
Click here to go to the new site:
www.meaningfulpatter.com
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Friday, December 21, 2007
At Least We'll Have Late Night
Oh the humanity. What a Christmas gift. Finally the late night talk show hosts have resolved to return to work without their writers. Though life is so sad without The Office, 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, etc., at least we'll have something at the end of each vast abyss of an evening. Oh how I've missed Jon Stewart and Letterman and Conan. For the first week or two of the strike, I pretended the shows were just in regular repeats, telling myself maybe I'd see a show I hadn't seen originally. We'd get our snacks and head off to bed only to blankly stare at the television, hoping some miracle would occur. Thank goodness they're going back to work. Sure the shows may be a bit lame without writers, but since most of the late night hosts do some of the writing for their shows, they can't be that bad. Doesn't matter. They'll be there, comforting us with their presence.
Friday, December 14, 2007
I Don't Hate Baby Jesus
Let's be clear before the Christmas ranting begins. I don't hate baby Jesus. He bears no responsibility in this Christmas nightmare we endure each year. In fact, he's probably mortified. How was he to know that his birthday celebration would turn into greed, anarchy and despair? Unfortunately, there's no specific individual to blame for the gift-buying frenzy, holiday traffic, and need to travel at Christmastime. We just share the blame of perpetuation I guess.
Christmas always starts out innocently enough. You start hearing carols in the stores before Thanksgiving even hits, but that's okay, because who doesn't like Christmas carols? If you live where it snows, you get a nip in the air or even some early snows. You start to think Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year--glad tidings to all. But after Thanksgiving, things turn ugly. It's every man for himself. People come out of the woodwork, crowding the malls, forcing you to stand in long lines to get gifts. And why do I always pick the wrong line, the one where someone is writing a damned check? Who even writes checks anymore? It's called a debit card, people. Works the same. Best Buy has it down. Make one line and then feed that to the registers. Then there's no room for mistakes that involve me being furious with fellow shoppers who have chosen wisely in the line lotto.
The problem is that everything is crammed into the four weeks of December--decorating, holiday parties, work parties, Christmas card mailing, secret Santa, holiday visiting, and the dreaded baking. Cripes, I've done more and spent more in the first two weeks of December than I have all year. Is it any wonder that I'm agitated? Can't some of this craziness be spread into January--at least the parties? I don't think Jesus would mind. Isn't he the forgiving type? I'm certain he doesn't want me agitated on his big day. If everyone could also agree to a moratorium on Christmas cards, imagine the relief, the joy even. I can't count the number of people who have indicated to me what a chore it is and how they wish it would just end. Imagine the cost savings and the environmental impact. If you haven't checked in with people all year, do you really need to now?
I want to be joyful, I really do. I just don't have time to be now. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking, oh, I need to remember to get Christmas envelopes ready for the postman and the paper delivery guy. And I have to make more cookies for when the relatives get here. And will Amazon just deliver my stuff already? Jesus.
Christmas always starts out innocently enough. You start hearing carols in the stores before Thanksgiving even hits, but that's okay, because who doesn't like Christmas carols? If you live where it snows, you get a nip in the air or even some early snows. You start to think Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year--glad tidings to all. But after Thanksgiving, things turn ugly. It's every man for himself. People come out of the woodwork, crowding the malls, forcing you to stand in long lines to get gifts. And why do I always pick the wrong line, the one where someone is writing a damned check? Who even writes checks anymore? It's called a debit card, people. Works the same. Best Buy has it down. Make one line and then feed that to the registers. Then there's no room for mistakes that involve me being furious with fellow shoppers who have chosen wisely in the line lotto.
The problem is that everything is crammed into the four weeks of December--decorating, holiday parties, work parties, Christmas card mailing, secret Santa, holiday visiting, and the dreaded baking. Cripes, I've done more and spent more in the first two weeks of December than I have all year. Is it any wonder that I'm agitated? Can't some of this craziness be spread into January--at least the parties? I don't think Jesus would mind. Isn't he the forgiving type? I'm certain he doesn't want me agitated on his big day. If everyone could also agree to a moratorium on Christmas cards, imagine the relief, the joy even. I can't count the number of people who have indicated to me what a chore it is and how they wish it would just end. Imagine the cost savings and the environmental impact. If you haven't checked in with people all year, do you really need to now?
I want to be joyful, I really do. I just don't have time to be now. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking, oh, I need to remember to get Christmas envelopes ready for the postman and the paper delivery guy. And I have to make more cookies for when the relatives get here. And will Amazon just deliver my stuff already? Jesus.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Some Enchanted Evening
The other day my hairdresser asked if I had seen any good movies lately. I looked at her quizzically. "There haven't been any good movies in about two years," I responded, presuming that everyone was aware of the movie drought. But this weekend, I saw a pretty good movie, Enchanted. Yes, it's a Disney movie, and no, I do not care for animation, save for The Simpsons and the Toy Story movies. But the key is that it is only partially animated--about the first 10-15 minutes. Then the live action begins and Disney pokes fun at itself, juxtaposing fairy tale life against modern life.
The truly delightful part of Enchanted is Amy Adams. She is not only breathtaking onscreen (in a non-Elaine Benes way), she's also a terrific actress. If you haven't seen Junebug, you should, if only for her performance. She was nominated for an Oscar for that movie. The minute she came onscreen in Enchanted, I couldn't imagine anyone else playing the part of Gisele, a wannabe princess. "McDreamy" (Patrick Dempsey) plays her modern-day prince, but his good looks and caustic delivery pale against Amy, who seems to believe she is a Disney character. The end of the film goes a little over the top, with my least favorite device, a CGI monster, making an appearance. Guess they had to throw in something for the boys.
Enchanted made me laugh out loud. And the scenery and costumes were oh so Disneyesque. This is the type of holiday film I'm interested in. I know that studios must get their serious movies into theaters if they want to make the Oscar deadline, but who wants to see movies like Grace is Gone, or Gone Baby, Gone at Christmastime? We don't want to think about children being kidnapped or killed, or the war in Iraq. We see that every day on the news. I still shudder when I think about seeing Titanic on Christmas day in 1997. Sure, we knew it didn't end well, but it was so long and so somber. I also have bad memories of seeing Children of Men just after Christmas last year. I was depressed for two days after that. Christmastime is turbulent enough, with the shopping, the relatives, and the cooking. Why not give the people some hope and fun? We want lighthearted fare at Christmas, like Fred Claus, which incidentally, wasn't too bad either.
The truly delightful part of Enchanted is Amy Adams. She is not only breathtaking onscreen (in a non-Elaine Benes way), she's also a terrific actress. If you haven't seen Junebug, you should, if only for her performance. She was nominated for an Oscar for that movie. The minute she came onscreen in Enchanted, I couldn't imagine anyone else playing the part of Gisele, a wannabe princess. "McDreamy" (Patrick Dempsey) plays her modern-day prince, but his good looks and caustic delivery pale against Amy, who seems to believe she is a Disney character. The end of the film goes a little over the top, with my least favorite device, a CGI monster, making an appearance. Guess they had to throw in something for the boys.
Enchanted made me laugh out loud. And the scenery and costumes were oh so Disneyesque. This is the type of holiday film I'm interested in. I know that studios must get their serious movies into theaters if they want to make the Oscar deadline, but who wants to see movies like Grace is Gone, or Gone Baby, Gone at Christmastime? We don't want to think about children being kidnapped or killed, or the war in Iraq. We see that every day on the news. I still shudder when I think about seeing Titanic on Christmas day in 1997. Sure, we knew it didn't end well, but it was so long and so somber. I also have bad memories of seeing Children of Men just after Christmas last year. I was depressed for two days after that. Christmastime is turbulent enough, with the shopping, the relatives, and the cooking. Why not give the people some hope and fun? We want lighthearted fare at Christmas, like Fred Claus, which incidentally, wasn't too bad either.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Please Scribes, Pick Up Thy Pens
Before I whine about the writers' strike, let me just say one thing. Matt Damon is not the sexiest man alive. In no universe. Never. Sure, he's nice looking in a Ken doll sort of way. Seems nice and genuine. I liked him in the Bourne movies. If it were "Cutest Man Alive" or "Nicest Guy Alive," he might have a shot. I think they were just tired of putting Clooney or McConaghey on the cover of People. How about straying beyond mass appeal and putting some fresh faces on there for a change? It could be so much more interesting. How about Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, or most of the cast of Lost? John Krasinski? Jon Stewart? Paul Rudd? Milo Ventimiglia? John Cusack? The list goes on. Surely they could have done better than Damon.
It's been a while since I've posted I guess. You can only imagine the sad world of a TV lover during a writers' strike. Last night was the first direct hit, with no new episode of The Office. Violins. Moping. Doom. At least there was a new and very funny 30 Rock. I think there was a line that must go into the archives as all-time funniest for the show. As Liz showed up on a date with a 17 years younger dude, Jack asked her where they met--at an Amber Alert? Brilliant. Scrubs was also laugh out loud funny, with JD and Turk voicing their respective babies' thoughts.
Thank goodness there's reality TV to fall back on. Dancing with the Stars had a satisfactory ending after that Marie Osmond doll dance debacle. I'm still a bit creeped out by that. Dolls can be scarier than clowns. I wonder what I'll do with all that time I blocked out on Monday and Tuesday nights? Maybe something productive. Project Runway is in full swing, with a cast of entertaining oddballs. And I've succumbed to Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, though I still think it's way too long and he needs a nicer sidekick. America's Next Top Model has a strange crop of models this cycle, not very beautiful and not very interesting. I was disappointed to see Heather go. She can be a great print model--they don't need to be sparkling conversationalists. That said, I don't really want my only choices to be shows about who is the best singer/dancer/choir/kazoo player, lame game shows, or shows where people compete to lose weight. The networks are really scraping bottom now. I'd rather watch repeats.
I hope the writers get back to work soon. It's hard to feel empathy for people who have cool jobs, make a lot of money, and are striking for more dough. For perspective, you really have to think about what the lords above them are making and the fact that they're not getting a cut of the big Internet pie. And to some people, ahem, their jobs are CRITICAL, especially now, in the Midwest, where it's cold and dark at night. And, if the writers are thinking like me, maybe they're secretly jotting ideas down at home so they can get a leg up when they do get back to work. That's what I'd do. Writers gotta write.
It's been a while since I've posted I guess. You can only imagine the sad world of a TV lover during a writers' strike. Last night was the first direct hit, with no new episode of The Office. Violins. Moping. Doom. At least there was a new and very funny 30 Rock. I think there was a line that must go into the archives as all-time funniest for the show. As Liz showed up on a date with a 17 years younger dude, Jack asked her where they met--at an Amber Alert? Brilliant. Scrubs was also laugh out loud funny, with JD and Turk voicing their respective babies' thoughts.
Thank goodness there's reality TV to fall back on. Dancing with the Stars had a satisfactory ending after that Marie Osmond doll dance debacle. I'm still a bit creeped out by that. Dolls can be scarier than clowns. I wonder what I'll do with all that time I blocked out on Monday and Tuesday nights? Maybe something productive. Project Runway is in full swing, with a cast of entertaining oddballs. And I've succumbed to Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, though I still think it's way too long and he needs a nicer sidekick. America's Next Top Model has a strange crop of models this cycle, not very beautiful and not very interesting. I was disappointed to see Heather go. She can be a great print model--they don't need to be sparkling conversationalists. That said, I don't really want my only choices to be shows about who is the best singer/dancer/choir/kazoo player, lame game shows, or shows where people compete to lose weight. The networks are really scraping bottom now. I'd rather watch repeats.
I hope the writers get back to work soon. It's hard to feel empathy for people who have cool jobs, make a lot of money, and are striking for more dough. For perspective, you really have to think about what the lords above them are making and the fact that they're not getting a cut of the big Internet pie. And to some people, ahem, their jobs are CRITICAL, especially now, in the Midwest, where it's cold and dark at night. And, if the writers are thinking like me, maybe they're secretly jotting ideas down at home so they can get a leg up when they do get back to work. That's what I'd do. Writers gotta write.
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